it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
