just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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