Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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