I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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