i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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