What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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