what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
