is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
