i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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