Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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