If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
