There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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