YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize