No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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