My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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