I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
