Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need moral support for this bender
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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