Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
