And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
