love makes seman taste better
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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