she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
