If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
false alarm. still invincible.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
