yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
