I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
