lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
