My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
