I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
