i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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