let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When are your genitals available?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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