you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
