he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
