just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
