I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Houston, we have a blender
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
