i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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