Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
