who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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