Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
