I have demons in me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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