...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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