i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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