Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Drunk is not a location!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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