I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
