I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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