I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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