This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
we're so committed to being not committed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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