I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
