I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
