Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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