he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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