the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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