You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
