He kissed a someone with a penis
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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