Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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