Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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