He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
