i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
