I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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